They say write so I will write

They ask me what goes on in my head. Its nothing any sane person would want to hear. A mad amalgamation of nonsense, rage, hate, self pity, nothing. I will write. I've been working on developing a sci-fi universe but I am stuck on the construct of FTL. Everything I come up with seems to be overplayed and this bothers me. Same with fantasy, its as if the only niches I'm suited to fill have been endlessly filled, over and over. As if I couldn't have been more tragically late. So now I sit here at 9:30 am banging my head against the proverbial wall and all I have to show for it is this paragraph. I'm not happy, in fact I've come to know misery intimately this past half-decade. The recent revelations have not served to dull the ache. So, what the fuck am I doing here? Sometimes I wonder.